Those Pesky Expectations

I know. I know better. Waaayy better. But after too many hours on a couple of 747s and a cab ride through Bangalore at sunrise (yes, this is a photo of my cabbie), I arrived at the ashram… and they had no room at the inn! Oh they assured me it would be resolved “later.” Yet I couldn’t seem to help myself but be quite the little nudge, checking on it throughout the day, getting them to hold onto my behemoth laptop bag and overstuffed carry-on at the Welcome Center (which they could not guarantee would be secure, glee J

Then, thennnn in the Internet Café, I managed to log on, but it was incredibly slow and I couldn’t open anything. And when I tried again later, it was down and out. “This is India,” everyone would tell me with a chuckle, “sometimes it’s out all day.” So I started um, freaking out. Just a little. How would I get my work done? How would I answer my emails? Aaahhh. Doesn’t help that I was a wee bit jet-lagged and nodding off in every workshop session, then kicking myself because I couldn’t focus.

Throughout the day, I was confronted by my own, uh, expectations. When I asked about meals & how that all worked, my new ashramite friends mentioned “you do your own dishes, it’s like camp.” Hmmm, not much of a camper girl here (but yes all, I’ve gotten into the groove).

And in my mind’s eye, I thought my “dormitory accommodations” would be sharing a room with three other people (not like 45). So now I know what Army barracks are like, lol! When I finally got settled into my bunk around 11, the bunk mate across from me took pity on this Elle-Woods-seeming creature and offered to explain the “systems” in place for the bathroom (which involve an assortment of buckets and such, lol!)

Once I was finally ensconced in my bunk bed, my head was going a hundred miles a second. More battles with reality. What have I done? What was I thinking? Can I just cancel and go home? Would I ever be able to sleep on this bunk bed with 45 randomly coughing people and my head going nonstop? Thankfully and finally, it did stop.

And luckily, sleep does wonders in making things a little clearer J So now I’m off to an asana yoga class, with a lovely Indian woman who also teaches psychology, woo hoo! I remember why I’m here, all is right in the world. Only this morning, everyone is sick around me (even the lovely woman who took pity on Ms. Elle.) Send positive thoughts! And no, I’m not drinking the water J